There are some kriyas and meditations in the kundalini yoga toolkit that bring up enormous emotions. These emotions can overwhelm us and bring us to tears. Anger, love, sadness, joy, frustration, expansion, self-pity – the list goes on. When we hit on those practices, we can count ourselves lucky. This is where some juicy healing can happen. Although perhaps ‘lucky’ is not the right word… because when I committed to a 40 day sadhana with the Liberated Heart Meditation, and it had me gnashing my teeth with frustration and crying with irritation, I knew I had to see it through the full 40 day whack. 40 days was a loooong time from the perspective of that first week!
There were many things that annoyed me about the Liberated Heart Meditation. Keeping the eyes open and fixed at the thumb tips. Feeling the hard tips of the thumbnails pressed together. The pain in the thumbs that would inevitably arise halfway through. There was just something so very irritating about those thumbs… Ah, but of course – the thumbs represent the ego in kundalini yoga teachings.
So I gnashed my teeth and cried in frustration and threw mini tantrums, but always as a backdrop to holding my thumb tips together ‘like a swan’s neck’, eyes fixed to where the thumbs touch, the eight-stroke pranayam. It was a very painful and arduous and IRRITATING process. And on some days, that irritability would spill out beyond my morning sadhana and into my day. Oh dear. It has not been the most pleasant six weeks.
When I started out my 40 day adventure with the Liberated Heart Meditation, I had intended to extend the times to end up at 31 minutes. No chance. Perhaps in another lifetime. My levels of irritation would not allow a minute more than 11 this time around. Just when we think we’re doing so well with our daily sadhana, we find ourselves back at square one…
I hope this post inspires you to take on this challenge rather than be put off by it!
Sat nam x